Stories Submitted Too Often

By Becky Tuch

Are you trying to get published in literary magazines? If so, it can be helpful to know the kinds of stories that get submitted to literary journals far too often.

From the editors of Strange Horizons (an online journal of speculative fiction):

[The following] is not a canonical list of bad stories or story cliches. This is a list of types of stories that we at SH have seen too often…We often receive stories that match items on this list but that have cover letters saying "This matches something on your list, but I've done something new and unique and different with it." Such stories almost always turn out to be very similar to other stories we've seen. If your story is a close match to one or more items on this list (especially if it's a close enough match that you feel the need to include a cover-letter disclaimer), you may want to consult some friends who are well-read in the genre before deciding that it's probably different from what we see all the time.

1. Person is (metaphorically) at point A, wants to be at point B. Looks at point B, says "I want to be at point B." Walks to point B, encountering no meaningful obstacles or difficulties. The end. (A.k.a. the linear plot.)

2. Creative person is having trouble creating.

a) Writer has writer's block.

b) Painter can't seem to paint anything good.

c) Sculptor can't seem to sculpt anything good.

d) Creative person's work is reviled by critics who don't understand how brilliant it is.

e) Creative person meets a muse (either one of the nine classical Muses or a more individual muse) and interacts with them, usually by keeping them captive.

3. Weird things happen, but it turns out they're not real.

a) In the end, it turns out it was all a dream.

b) In the end, it turns out it was all in virtual reality.

c) In the end, it turns out the protagonist is insane.

d) In the end, it turns out the protagonist is writing a novel and the events we've seen are part of the novel.

4. Technology and/or modern life turn out to be soulless.

5. Office life turns out to be soul-deadening, literally or metaphorically.

a) All technology is shown to be soulless; in contrast, anything "natural" is by definition good. For example, living in a weather-controlled environment is bad, because it's artificial, while dying of pneumonia is good, because it's natural.

b) In the future, all learning is soulless and electronic, until kid is exposed to ancient wisdom in the form of a book.

c) In the future, everything is soulless and electronic, until protagonist (usually a kid) is exposed to ancient wisdom in the form of a wise old person who's lived a non-electronic life.

6. Protagonist is a bad person. (We don't object to this in a story; we merely object to it being the main point of the plot.)

a) Bad person is told they'll get the reward that they "deserve," which ends up being something bad.

b) Protagonist is portrayed as really awful, but that portrayal is merely a setup for the ending, in which they see the error of their ways and are redeemed. (But reading about the awfulness is so awful that we never get to the end to see the redemption.)

7. A place is described, with no plot or characters.

8. A "surprise" twist ending occurs. (Note that we do like endings that we didn't expect, as long as they derive naturally from character action. But note, too, that we've seen a lot of twist endings, and we find most of them to be pretty predictable, even the ones not on this list.)

a) The characters' actions are described in a way meant to fool the reader into thinking they're humans, but in the end it turns out they're not humans, as would have been obvious to anyone looking at them.

b) Creatures are described as "vermin" or "pests" or "monsters," but in the end it turns out they're humans.

c) The author conceals some essential piece of information from the reader that would be obvious if the reader were present at the scene, and then suddenly reveals that information at the end of the story. (This can be done well, but rarely is.)

d) Person is floating in a formless void; in the end, they're born.

e) Person uses time travel to achieve some particular result, but in the end something unexpected happens that thwarts their plan.

f) The main point of the story is for the author to metaphorically tell the reader, "Ha, ha, I tricked you! You thought one thing was going on, but it was really something else! You sure are dumb!"

g) A mysteriously-named Event is about to happen ("Today was the day Jimmy would have to report for The Procedure"), but the nature of the Event isn't revealed until the end of the story, when it turns out to involve death or other unpleasantness. (Several classic sf stories use this approach, which is one reason we're tired of seeing it. Another reason is that we can usually guess the twist well ahead of time, which makes the mysteriousness annoying.)

h) In the future, an official government permit is required in order to do some particular ordinary thing, but the specific thing a permit is required for isn't (usually) revealed until the end of the story.

i) Characters speculate (usually jokingly): "What if X were true of the universe?" (For example: "What if the universe is a simulation?") At the end, something happens that implies that X is true.

9. Someone calls technical support; wacky hijinx ensue.

a) Someone calls technical support for a magical item.

b) Someone calls technical support for a piece of advanced technology.

c) The title of the story is 1-800-SOMETHING-CUTE.

10. People whose politics are different from the author's are shown to be stupid, insane, or evil, usually through satire, sarcasm, stereotyping, and wild exaggeration.

a) In the future, the US or the world is ruled by politically correct liberals, leading to awful things (usually including loss of freedom of speech).

b) In the future, the US or the world is ruled by fascist conservatives, leading to awful things (usually including loss of freedom of speech).

11. Strange and mysterious things keep happening. And keep happening. And keep happening. For over half the story. Relentlessly. Without even a hint of explanation.

a) The protagonist is surrounded by people who know the explanation but refuse to give it.

12. Fatness is used as a signal of evil, dissolution, and/or moral decay, usually with the unspoken assumption that it's completely obvious that fat people are immoral and disgusting. (Note: This does not mean all fat characters in stories must be good guys. We're just tired of seeing fat used as a cheap shorthand signifier of evil.)

a) Someone wants to kill someone else, and that's perfectly reasonable because, after all, the victim-to-be is fat.

b) The story spends a lot of time describing, over and over, just how fat a character is, and how awful that is.

c)Physical contact with a fat person is understood to be obviously revolting.

13. Protagonist agrees to go along with a plan or action despite not having enough information about it, and despite their worries that the thing will be bad. Then the thing turns out to be bad after all.

14. Teen's family doesn't understand them.

15. In a comedic/satirical story, vampires and/or other supernatural creatures come out publicly and demand (and/or get) the vote and other rights, but people are prejudiced against them.

This is only a partial list. To see the full list, please visit Strange Horizons.

Becky Tuch is the founding editor of The Review Review.